Tobirama does an experiment and woops-now there is tiny toddler Tobi.
Tobirama looked solemnly up at the big man that felt just like Big Brother. He looked like Father too. Given that he had been caught up in some sort of seal and elder Akahiko had just last week told him seals could be used to manipulate all kinds of things, this could really be only a few scenarious. Tobirama allowed himself a short moment of internal panic, another one of absolute glee about this proof that seals really were the next best thing after Fish and then accepted the situation and moved on to more important things.
He tilted his head and gravely intoned „Anija?“
This situation required a certain amount of gravitas and Tobirama was quite pleased with himself for conveying it properly.
The man -Big Brother?- tilted to the left, seemed to choke on thin air and then crumbled like wet rice paper.
Ah yes, this was definitely Big Brother. Once again he felt the elation of -seals,seals,seals- but brought it under control.
He braced himself for the exhuberant hug and allowed the manhandling for a moment before he decided to once again reinstate proper priorities. He patted the wet cheecks smushed into his hair to get the blubbering man‘s attention and pointed in the direction he could make out the delicious smell coming from.
„Fish.“
He had not known his brother could move this fast. He was impressed.
_
Left behind in the dust Madara, Izuna and Mito turned to stare at Touka, eyes wide. She just shrugged at them. There wasn‘t much they could do and getting inbetween the brothers at the moment was liable to get them all scewered by Hashirama at the moment.
„At least Tobirama is not bound to make unreasonable demands, once he realises how much power he has with our esteemed Kage wrapped around his fingers. I mean, when he actually was this age there was just a really owerwhelming demand for fish, so…“ she shrugged. Not like they could do anything here. Tobirama was too smart not to use his cuteness like a precision weapon and Hashirama had always been stupidly besotted with his little brother.
She would have to make certain not to fall for the shrewd child herself, adorable hellion that he was. Perhaps she should go on a mission until whatever this was wore off?
But then? She looked at the Uchiha brothers out of the corner of her eyes. Toddler Tobirama would be devastating on the pathetic suckers and it would be a shame to miss that.
“Bad news,” said Mito as she shut the door, coming to where Tobirama was crouched behind a desk in an admin office.
“You couldn’t get them with the newspaper?” Tobirama asked, incredulous. Mito had excellent aim.
Mito scoffed. “Of course I hit them.” Then she frowned. “It worked on Izuna, but not Madara.”
“I thought the newspaper always worked.” Tobirama tried not to sound alarmed, but now he was worried. If the newspaper bop no jutsu failed, they’d have to wait for that overdramatic idiot to calm down on his own. And Hashirama just had to be out of the village right now. This could take days.
“There’s a part of the technique I didn’t tell you about,” she said. She hesitated, and added, “and it has to be you to do it.”
If Mito was hesitant to say something, it must be absolutely awful. Tobirama braced himself, “Whatever it is, if it will help end this, I’ll do it.”
Mito inclined her head at his acceptance and said, voice grave, “You have to kiss him.”
Tobirama probably misheard her. “What.”
“Kiss him. Give him a little forehead kiss.”
“Why do I have to do it?”
Mito stared him right in the eye. “Love.”
Tobirama looked at Mito, aghast. “No, what? No! Nothing about that is logical or makes any sense!” Uzumaki had unconventional techniques, but this. This was the dumbest fucking thing he’d ever heard of.
He didn’t even like Madara!
Mito snapped, “You want to rebuild the admin building? It’s that and half this village, or kissing the gremlin!”
“I hate you,” he grumbled. He opened the office door to the hall where he could hear Madara’s incessant screeching. “I hate you so much right now,” he said again to her.
“It’s not me you have to love!” Mito called after him.
If this bullshit worked, Tobirama was going to pack his bags and become a farmer in Tea Country, Konoha be damned.
Senju Tobirama did not smile. Ever. No matter how fervently Izuna and Kagami claimed otherwise. It wasn’t like Madara was envious about them witnessing that rare phenomenon. He was just naturally curious and sceptical. So when he deviced a plan (or several of them) to make the bleached bastard smile to find out for himself exactly how pretty it was, it was purely for scientific reasons. Of course it was. The only thing Madara had not bargained for was that he might have accidentally fallen in love with that smile.
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